I was on duty that day when Mrs Asiedu walked into my consulting room.
After we exchanged greetings, I questioned her on the purpose of the consultation.
“So how can I help you Mrs Asiedu?”. The answer that greeted my question was shocking. “Doctor I am tired of my marriage my husband is a 2 minute man.”
She carried on, ” he has never satisfied me in bed before. This year made it three years we got married we have no child.
Everything is just frustrating. On many occasions, he himself is sad she could not reach the desired time he wished he could reach in bed.
In fact sometimes before he even penetrate me he was already ejaculating.
Sometimes one minute after the penetration, he has poured everything.
The longest time my husband had lasted in bed when she got married have lasted in bed since you got married doctor was 7 minutes. I am really suffering in this marriage doctor. What is the essence of marriage if someone cannot enjoy her husband very well? Someone has no child also.
In fact what is the essence of Life itself. I am getting a divorce doctor”. She concluded with obvious frustration written all over her.
I acknowledged her pains and frustration and I sympathized with her. ” So madam any other complaint?” I asked. She said no. Then I went ahead to clarify some of the things she said to be sure I got her right. I said “Mrs Asiedu if I Got You correctly, summarily, what you were saying was your husband ejaculate sooner during intercourse than he likes or than you will like him to last? Not that he doesn’t get erection?” She reacted very quickly and loudly, “Doctor you got it. It is not erection problem. In fact he gets erection all the time. The problem is, he ejaculates too quickly for my liking and his own liking too.” She continued expressing her frustration again”.
“Infact I have regretted marrying him. When my mates were choosing right, how did I mess it?” She added. I emphasized with her again.
I asked further, “ok like how many minutes man will you like your husband to be madam?”. She said “Doctor after all the preamble play, let him penetrate and last at least 10 minutes, I’ll manage it but sometimes even just playing with him alone he has ejaculated. We have not even started anything o doctor”. I acknowledged her frustration again and emphasized with her again. Then I went further to clarify what she thinks is the cause of a husbands quick ejaculation. “OK what do you think is or are the problems or problem causing this in your husband’s mrs Asiedu”. She said the only thing she had noticed was her husband was always tense when it came to performing his conjugal rights. I asked “ok are two of you fighting too much in the marriage?” she said no. “Ok before two of you got married, were you two doing anything and was he always like this then?” “yes we were doing something despite being Christians doctor and he was performing well. It was after we got married that this problem started. Maybe God is punishing us for our sins. I even got pregnant and aborted for him once before we got married, but see us now, no bed satisfaction no Child”, she broke down in tears “God please forgive us”. I emphasized with her again.
After the emotion had died down I continued my interview with her. “Do you think your husband had many bed experiences and too early in life?” She said “yes doctor”. “Let me call him in doctor he’s outside so that he can just answer for himself.” Mr Asiedu came in. We greeted. I updated him on our conversation so far.
He affirmed them all to be true. Then I continued the interview with both of them. “Mr Asiedu any sexual abuse in the past?” he Said Yes, by his aunt. “Are you going through any stress at home or work? He answered “yes doctor, I’m going through so much stress at home and at work. After my boss has stressed me at work, this woman; pointing to his wife, will bring her own stress again when I get home. She will nag me on virtually Everything. There is nothing I know how to do right to her. This is so much now that I am always becoming tense and anxious whenever we want to meet for fear that I may not do it well. She insult me all the times. She disrespects me all the times. In facts she does not allowed me to be the head of the home. She is the husband. I am even depressed doctor. I am tired of the marriage. Whereas before I married her three years ago doctor you would think she could not drink water if you put it in her mouth but now she is Madame fire fire”. I turned To Mrs Asiedu if all the accusations from the husband were true. She said yes but accused her husband of doing the same things to her. I calmed both of them down and continued with the interview with Mr Asiedu and asked if there was any infection of the prostate or urethra or hormonal issue? He said no. Does he smoke or drink alcohol? All was no.
After hearing both couples I got answer to the cause of the premature ejaculation. The first solution they needed was counseling. I cancelled two of them separately and later jointly. I told them that their fight was Normal but avoidable. They were still within the first five years of turbulent because they were just getting to know each other. I told them since they were Christians, they should study their Bible more about marriage and practice marriage principles in the Bible. I told Mrs Asiedu to let her husband lead and submit to him like she submit to God. And also to Mr Asiedu, as the man and head should learn to have a large heart and love his wife and show more maturity and understanding. Acknowledge that some emotional outburst are normal in women because of the variation in their monthly cycle hormones.
After the counseling, both of them realised their mistakes, apologized to each other, and promised to be doing all that I have told them and respect their faith and beliefs more and pray for Grace to do the right things in the marriage. I told Mr Asiedu to see the mental health specialist for the abuse he suffered when he was young which he did.
I therefore proceeded to give them solution to their problem that made them happy.
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